The X-Men Were Just Destroyed By Conan The Barbarian

The X-Men were just destroyed by Conan the Barbarian during a botched robbery undertaken by the time-displaced Cimmerian himself. Even amidst the gruesome takeover of Earth by the King in Black, Conan just can’t resist a good score. Little did the barbarian know, the house he was invited to rob was under the protection of the mutant superhero team. While Conan wasn’t expecting a fight, it wasn’t he who found himself in the wrong place at the wrong time. 

In Savage Avengers #18 by Gerry Duggan with art by Kev Walker and Java Tartaglia, Conan the Barbarian, Deadpool, and Night Flyer just escaped prison and began making their way towards a house Night Flyer intended on robbing. What Deadpool and Conan didn’t know was that Night Flyer’s big score was robbing the Hellfire Club’s original clubhouse. Upon their illegal entry into the residence, the thieves begin their thieving, that is until a Krakoan Gate opens up in the middle of the living room, from which the X-Men enter the clubhouse. Much to the mutant’s surprise, they see the three escaped convicts taking what isn’t there’s so the X-Men spring into action, though they greatly underestimated their opponents especially one in particular. 

Once Iceman, Callisto, and Bishop stepped through the portal, they unwittingly entered a battle arena. The mutants attacked the intruders, only recognizing Deadpool as an immediate threat among the three, though it was the god-killing barbarian whose name they didn’t know that would spell their end. Previously, Conan bonded with a symbiote he knew during the initial invasion of Knull’s army giving him a secret edge over the surprise mutant attack. Iceman did his best to freeze the Cimmerian where he stood, though Conan was used to the unforgiving winter conditions of his homeland during the Hyborian Age, making Iceman’s efforts futile. Once Conan got close enough he used his symbiote to morph his arm into a war hammer and used it to shatter Iceman to bits. 

Bobby Drake wasn’t the only X-Men member taken down by the Cimmerian, Bishop and Callisto were also met with a barbaric fate. During the battle, Deadpool proved to be pretty ineffective so Conan made the Merc with a Mouth useful by doing what any logically thinking warrior would do: used his body as a weapon. Conan hurled Deadpool into Bishop, taking the mutant from the future out of the fight, then he knocked Callisto out with a single strike, all before laying the final symbiote-powered blow to Iceman, single-handedly defeating the X-Men right then and there.

While Conan has aligned himself with members of the X-Men in the past, most notably Wolverine as shown in Savage Avengers #1, there was no love lost for the mutants he encountered that night. Conan successfully used Deadpool as a weapon against Bishop, incapacitated Callisto with one punch, and shattered Iceman to bits with a single blow of his symbiote war hammer.  It is safe to say the X-Men were just destroyed by Conan the Barbarian.

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